At first, there was just my vague awareness "doesn't seem to work" as well as the rest of the book; that it fails to make an impact.
There is a nagging sense that the Barrow Wight forms an (almost) redundant, potentially detachable, "plot-loop" - and perhaps an instance of what I sometimes call needless-, or "gratuitous-, or "pork pie-" peril (i.e. the piling-on of peril-upon-peril) - of the kind to which too-many movie-makers are addicted.
This is the hobbit's second potentially lethal peril of the journey - the first being the encounter with Old Man Willow in the Old Forest. But, in contrast to the Barrow Wight episode, The Old Forest chapter seems to work superbly.
The reasons now seems clearer to me. In the first place FotBD is too abbreviated, too short, too summary in its nature. FotBD lacks the process of incrementally drawing the reader into the hobbit-perspective on events, which was so well achieved in the Old Forest.
After entering the Old Forest, there are some eight pages before the hobbits are trapped by Old Man Willow; during which there is a lot of dialogue, the stages of the journey is vividly described, and several sub-episodes are distinguished.
By the time they meet Old Man Willow and mortal peril afflicts the hobbits, we are well prepared for it; and the dangers are themselves depicted in detail from the hobbit's point of view as they develop. Such as increasing feelings of hostility from the trees, difficult terrain, frequently getting lost, being funnelled in the direction the hobbits most wish to avoid, encroaching inexplicable sleepiness, and Frodo's falling insensible into the river Withywindle.
But after entering the Barrow Downs there are less than four pages before Frodo is captured by the Barrow Wight and awakes inside the Barrow.
During these pages, the hobbits' journey is described externally, and with much less detail than for the Forest, there are just one exchange of two lines of dialogue. There is a good section concerning Frodo's separation from the others, and his increasing fear and confusion - but somehow this does not quite suffice.
In short, the peril seems to come upon them too fast and without enough length of preparation for the reader to feel and see it "in real time" and from the hobbit perspective.
Another problem is in picturing the Barrow Wight itself: "a tall dark figure like a shadow against the stars" having two eyes lit with a pale and cold light.
This just isn't enough information for me to work-with! Then, after Frodo has awoken inside the barrow; the Wight stays out of his sight, After hearing an evil incantation by the Wight; Frodo sees only a long arm, reaching around a corner, walking on its fingers towards a sword intending to kill Sam.
(Which reaching around a corner, seems to me rather an absurd way to conduct a ritual sacrifice!)
Then, after a well-described inner struggle; Frodo suddenly grabs a sword and hacks-off the hand at its wrist - after which everything goes dark; so that we do not "see" the physical consequences on the Wight.
Only after a page later and following the rescue; Frodo thinks he sees the severed hand wriggling like a wounded spider on a heap of earth... It would (surely?) have been more engaging to see that hand immediately after Frodo had chopped it!
Furthermore; this is the second time in just two days that the hobbits are rescued from mortal peril by Tom Bombadil.
Rescued in a broadly-similar fashion, and only a few hours since Frodo last saw Bombadil.
Such repetition seems obviously unsatisfactory.
As to why this chapter is deficient; it may be related to the section having been among the earliest-written by the author - yet (according to The History of Middle Earth) very little revised, by comparison with the other early-written parts.
The "Barrow Wight" chapter of HoME Book 6 "The Return of the Shadow" is consequently less than seven pages, including notes; because of this fewness of significant revisions.
It may also be contributory that in its original sketched-conceptualization, Bombadil's rescue from the Barrow Wight was the first time the hobbits actually met him, before returning to his house.
(The escape from Old Man Willow having been a consequence of merely the effect of a song, overheard coming from the unseen and unknown voice of Bombadil who happened to be passing nearby.)
However, this merely leads to the question of why the chapter was not more-extensively worked-over during revision; and one can only assume either that Tolkien did not see any problem, or else other narrative factors were perceived more important.
Anyway; I have now answered to my own satisfaction the structural why - despite several superb passages I would certainly not wish to be without - FotBD has always failed to make the strong impact made by the rest of Fellowship of the Ring.
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